Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Bags are packed...

My bag is packed and I'm ready to go!  NOT....

Almost though.  I do have my list written out on what I want to take with me.  That's a start, right?  I never pack until the night before anyway.

My surgery is scheduled for 8 a.m.  I have to be there at 6 a.m.!   At least there wont be any traffic. We were supposed to get a big snowstorm but now its only going to be a couple of inches so whew... 

I really hope I'm doing the right thing.  I guess I'll find out! 

I am taking my Kindle Fire with me to the hospital and hopefully will be able to give a quick update after my surgery.  I am planning on it.

Wish me well, send a prayer or positive thought (whatever you believe in) my way.  It is all appreciated!

Cheers...




Thursday, February 14, 2013

Insurance approval and random thoughts...

I called my Nurse Case Manager at my insurance company to see if they had approved my surgery.  I had a nightmare that I checked-in and they told me my insurance hadn't approved it so they wouldn't do it!  Well, she said it was all "approved".

I now have to figure out how to come up with my deductible and co-pay for the year!  $3,000 total.  Barf.    I'm still paying off last years (which was in July).  I still don't understand why we had "open enrollment" in June to pick a new plan and then our plan year is Jan-Dec.  I will have paid a total of $7,000 since June of 2012.  I had switched insurance companies in July so my June colonoscopy and CT Scan went to my old insurance company deductible and out-of-pocket and then my surgery, which was July 2nd, went to my new insurance company deductible and out-of-pocket.  I know a lot of people have much higher deductibles and co-pays so I try not to complain.  I'm worried the hospital is going to want $1,000 up front before my surgery.  I know they will ask but I won't have to give it to them.  I was told to ask for a discount anyway.  I have CANCER and they are a CANCER Hospital so they can offer discounts, right?  That's why we donate to cancer associations and hospitals (I have).

I have added a DONATE button on my blog but I feel so weird asking people for money.  If you feel like donating to my medical expenses, please use this button.  I will only use any money donated to pay for said medical expenses.   I've really been thinking about re-homing my horse, Abbie.  I don't want to.  Riding is like my therapy and I've now owned a horse for 25 years! 1/2 of my life.  It would put a huge hole in my heart to not have her in it but I feel that perhaps it would be the best thing to do.  I had two horses until my diagnosis last year.  It has cost me so much, this cancer of mine.  I sold my "Cocoa" to a jumper trainer who had her "leased" to a 13 year old girl who has since bought her.  I know she has a great owner who loves her very much and that is the only reason I don't feel too bad about having to sell her.  I sold her for pennies, really.  The same amount that we paid for her as a yearling! She was 9 when I sold her.

 I do get alimony for another year.  It is only enough to pay for my car and auto insurance.  I do not know what I'll do when it runs out as my car will not be paid for until 2016.  Unfortunately, I got rear-ended two weeks after I bought it so the value has gone way down for resale (even though his insurance paid to have it fixed, it means the car has been "damaged").

Anyway, surgery is on the schedule for the 21st.  I have to call the day before between 2 and 5pm to find out what time I have to be there.  I hope its not really early nor late in the day.  I hate waiting.

Send me some good vibes, energy, prayers--whatever you believe in.  I am feeling positive about this and am confident everything will go well.

Cheers!


Friday, February 8, 2013

I have a date!

With a surgeon, not a guy!   I knew this was going to happen fast.  I just knew it.  I'm sure I could have balked and asked for a later date but now I just want to get it over with and the longer I wait, the more nervous I'll be.  February 21st.  Yes, 13 days away.  Almost two weeks.

I've been reading about what to expect from liver resection surgery.  I also should have requested a visit with the surgeon beforehand so I could ask him all my zillion questions.  I was just so "shocked" with how quickly he wanted to do it.  I mean, I told her I was in no hurry but didn't know how long the surgeon would want to put it off.  He doesn't want to.  So I am going... under... the....knife!

I did ask about making sure they use the octreotide protocol in case of carcinoid crises.  She said they would.  I asked if he used staples or sutures.  Staples (rats).  I forgot to ask about drains and such but from what I've read, I will have at least one drain for my liver.  Not sure about a gastric-nasal tube.  Guess I will find out when I get there!  Also, a nurse should call me beforehand to go over pre-surgery instructions so I can ask her/him.

Positive energy, prayers, whatever you believe in, please send my way!  I will post more later...  I will also try to keep a journal of my recovery so it can help others to know what to expect.  Oh, I've also been told to gain some weight. That won't be a hardship (or be hard)!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Surgery is likely

My appointment yesterday went very well.  I really like my Oncologist.  He was very impressed with Dr. Kim, the liver surgeon.  After much discussion and weighing the pros and cons I am going to go ahead with the surgery (pending approval from my insurance company of course).  My oncologist even said that if it were him, he would do it.  He also said there is no big rush.  I don't have to have it next week but should probably not wait too long.  I'm thinking mid to late March at the earliest.  I could wait but I don't want to because I know I will just get more and more anxious about it.  He said it is a HUGE surgery and will take me probably 3 months to get feeling more "normal".  He said it only takes about 2-3 weeks for the liver to regenerate but your body just sucks all your energy and calories to fueling that process and the "affects" can last for up to 3 months.  He said since I am young (fairly) and healthy (other than having CANCER), I should not have any complications but of course, there are no guarantees!

I found this picture of a liver.  I will be having my right lobe removed, which is where my biggest tumors are.

It's a little daunting to look at how big the right lobe is compared with the left.  I'm a little nervous and of course, hope I am making the right decision.  Also, this is not a cure. It is a way to hopefully get 5 to 10 more years added on to my life.


Monday, February 4, 2013

Great Expectations!

Tomorrow is my appointment with my Oncologist. I haven't seen him in four months.  It sounds like a long time for a cancer patient to go without seeing their doc but I guess with a slow-growing cancer, it is not unusual.  I do have to pay $50 every time I see him so it's probably a good thing it's not every month but to be honest, sometimes I wish it were a little more often.

I am hoping that I don't have too high of "expectations" for this appointment.  At my last appointment, I had just met with the liver surgeon who is not on my insurance plan and he (Oncologist) was very positive about the fact that the liver surgeon thought I was a good candidate for liver resection.  We agreed that at this coming appointment (tomorrow) he (oncologist) would set me up with the liver surgeon at my hospital   His feeling was that they (my hospital or this surgeon) would probably not want to do liver surgery on me and then we could send me out-of-state to a specialist or get approved for this other liver surgeon to do it who is not on my plan (of course he did not know about Dr. Kim or did not think about him).  Of course, I have since gone to see Dr. Kim at Huntsman who is on my plan and he said he could do it.  I hope my oncologist is a-ok with me jumping the gun and going to see Dr. Kim on my own.  I can't imagine why he'd care and I know that I shouldn't care if he is mad or annoyed but I do want my doctor to respect me.  I am nervous.  I am nervous that he will say it is a bad idea.  I am nervous that he will think it's a great idea.  Surgery is scary.  Liver surgery is very scary.  My last surgery, I really had no choice.  It was "you need surgery". This time it is more my choice.  I can choose to NOT do it or I can choose to DO it.  Of course, I am also nervous that my insurance will say NO--mainly because of what I say above (my choice).  I know what the specialists say... cut it out, cut it out, cut it out.  

I will post tomorrow night or Wednesday after my appointment.  I hope my sister shows up this time.  I could really use the support.