A time for reflection.

I said goodbye to my dear cousin Dave today.  He passed away last Monday.  54 yrs old.  He and his brother were like my brothers.  He was my sisters age and his brother Steve was my age.  We grew up together.  Our Fathers were brothers.  Our families spent so much time together when we were kids.  Camping, vacations, Holidays-- especially Thanksgiving.  One year it would be at our house and the next it was at theirs.  I loved their dad so much.  I always wished he was my dad (grass is always greener on the other side).

Dave had many demons throughout his life.  He was a skilled and gifted baseball and football player. My uncle, his dad, sadly took his own life due to the incredible amount of pain he was in from Rhumatoid Arthritis.  Dave was the one who found him and I think it really affected him not so good ways.  I'm not going to get into details because it's not my story to tell but he had many challenges throughout the rest of his life.  He did have four beautiful boys and another who was a son of his ex-wifes that he more or less raised.  I learned new things about Dave today.  How much he was loved and how kind and caring he was to everyone.  There was no judgement in Dave.

I had no idea how much pain he was in.  He had bone-on-bone hips.  Both.  He needed surgery years ago.  Everyone talked about how much he feared this surgery.  Something I don't understand but know that we all have our fears and it's not my place to judge others.  Of course, I feel bad that I didn't know how hard a time he was having.  I wish I 'd reached out to him.  He still lived in his mothers house.  I wasn't sure he was still there.  He was living without power or water.  The bank had taken the house back shortly after his mother died (four years ago), and Dave was still there.  I'm so glad he wasn't alone at the end.  He died from pain.  Literally.  Breaks my heart.

I wanted to write this post to talk about something one of the speakers spoke about.  He said that this life is just the beginning (hey, even if you are not religious, this is a good thing to believe).  This life is just a short blip.  We're here for just a moment.  We will be together again with our loved ones.  I sure hope this is true.

Rest in peace Dave Larsen.  You will be missed.  Until we meet again.